Surviving

Video blog: Brain anxiety

by Liz on Jun 6, 2011 • 11:28 am 13 Comments

After three days of dizziness, I’m anxious to receive the results of my MRI.

UPDATE: MRI is unchanged since last scan in April. Whew.

Feel free to watch the video anyway. See what it looks like when a brain tumor patient breaks down. It’s one of those emotion vs. logic flip-flops.

e boechler

Hey Liz:
Just wanted to say that I feel the exact same way during the waiting period surrounding any MRI. Especially my last two MRIs because they weren’t really scheduled My doc got me in because she rocks and I was having other issues (I had the dizzy for one of them and the other I had a spike in seizure activity). It never matters for me how many times the logical part of my remaining brain says “it’s all going to be fine, you’re worrying for nothing”. I am a GREAT worrier so then I just worry that I’m worrying too much. Oh, it’s a nasty circle I get myself into.

You’ll hear from them soon and everything will be fine. Until then – Yoga?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2F6CZ6BW5KK6NMEX3QZ7LVYENI Mary Jean

Oh, your anxiety is not stupid in any way shape or form. I completely get it. I hope you hear positive news soon.
Scott Holloway

Liz, it’s not stupid to be anxious about an MRI. I think we all do. I know I do, but I try to not let my wife know that I am. I have a friend whose son is 7, and dealing with a medulloblastoma. They have had a recurrence, and the whole thing has disrupted their lives for almost 3 years. The Mom and Dad get very anxious every time an MRI comes around. I don’t know if your ativan messes you up too much, but maybe that could calm your anxiety. I’m sorry to see you in such distress, but know that all of us Brain cancer folks are in the same boat as you. I hope you scan results come back clear.
http://thelizarmy.com Liz

Thanks everyone!

The MRI is fine. As I said, “This is the stupidest thing.” I always feel so silly for worrying.

But at that moment I needed to talk to someone and no one was home. So I did this.

I guess this is a good record of my freak-out. It is kind of embarrassing, but it sounds like I’m not the only one who does this.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2F6CZ6BW5KK6NMEX3QZ7LVYENI Mary Jean

I’m so glad the MRI was fine. But don’t feel silly for worrying.
Scott Holloway

Great news. You know, that video is a good example of the whole range of emotions we all deal with when scans are coming up. Don’t be embarrassed. Those emotions are happening every day to thousands of people, anyone who has had any cancerous tumor. Thanks for sharing it.
Erin Thomas

I’m glad your MRI turned out OK. I have mine next week and while I don’t think I have a reason to worry, I am also freaking out. I feel a little stupid about it, but I guess it’s normal.

http://thelizarmy.com Liz

Totally normal to freak out!

Edward Slas

Liz,
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I would have similar emotional episodes on a daily basis when I was first diagnosed. Perhaps try some easy yoga or do your favorite relaxation technique. Mine is Pink Floyd.

Liz

Actually, the video turned out to be a technique. I said all that, wiped my face, posted it and went on with my day.

I had the day off from work, and normally I don’t have time to myself to sit around and deal with how I am feeling inside. Sometimes I just need to get it out.

Alicia K-M

I love you, Liz. I know exactly how you’re feeling.
Marieke Vink

Hi Liz. This may be a bit weird but I am glad to read some positive things from people with an Astrocytoma. My wife died of an Astrocytoma last week and it is hard to keep fighting for a cure for others when feeling like it just doesn’t matter. Knowing that there are people out there who are survivors strangely enough helps me look forward. I used to write a blog about JD and when I was her carer. http://astrocytoma.wordpress.com
Becky

I know this was over a year ago, but thank you so much for posting this. As much as it sucks to feel that way, it is so validating to see someone else feels the same way as me. I get break downs around almost every MRI, especially when there are symptoms involved, and I have literally said verbatim what you said in this video. I always feel so stupid for worrying so much when it turns out to be nothing, and then you just feel like maybe the anxiety was the reason for the increase in symptoms. It is the most frustrating never-ending cycle ever. I’ve been told by my family, friends, and therapist that it is very normal to feel this way around scan time (as a friend of mine dubbed it, “scanxiety”), but it makes me feel so much better knowing that someone else actually feels the way I do. Thank you so much. This post has truly impacted me; I really appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there in such a vulnerable situation.

Becky

Video blog: Brain anxiety

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Video blog: Brain anxiety

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