Engaged: Brett and Liz

There is much going on in my world right now.

I am tired. And the seizure drugs (and the lasting impact of chemotherapy) leaves me with a cloud above my head. My physical body feels much like Pig Pen‘s dust cloud–but instead of being surrounded by dirt I am surround by a fog keeping me separated from clear thinking and genius ideas. I often lose my train of thought. My friends in the 50+ age group would call this “senioritis” and laugh.

But still, in all of this, I am happy. I can be tired and nauseous and forgetful, but I am content. I have never been so content before.

I used to worry about my career and how successful I would be compared to my peers. But I don’t really care about that anymore. I do care about doing a great job and believing in what I do, but I don’t care about drama and putting on a show for the sake of fitting in. (Not that I was really that way to begin with… jus’ sayin’.)

I used to worry about having a perfectly clean house. But a house is never perfectly clean. Brett keeps our place amazing, but I am too tired to make vacuuming a priority. I would rather snuggle with Brett on the couch or take an evening walk.

We have a big project we are planning (our wedding), then we get to go to Hawaii (a first for Brett), and then we get to come home and just enjoy our new life. We are so excited to have “free time”. The last time our lives were like that was when we were both unemployed and I had a big gash in my head.

There will be MRIs. There will be more decisions about continued treatment. There will be times I forget. There will be times when I worry. But I will always have Brett with me.