Now I know what it feels like to be a dog wearing a cone around its neck.

I walked around Target like this. I could tell parents were looking at me without turning their heads, but their kids just stared with no shame. HAHAHA.

At the checkout line some kid was putting his grubby hands on my basket and then sneezed three times. He stared at the mask and said, “Mommy! Why is she wearing that?”

I said, “To protect me from germ-bags like you.”

Actually, I didn’t say that. It was one of those things I thought of later.

I wish I was more clever off the cuff.