Early this morning, from about 2 a.m. on, I slept fitfully, dizzy even in my dreams.

With my eyes closed my world was spinning and I could only compare the sensation to three other situations I’ve experienced.

  1. When I was on Temodar, near the end of a treatment week, I felt dizzy in my sleep. But I am two months out from chemo and there is no logical reason for me to feel this way.
  2. About two years before my tumor was discovered I spent a weekend dizzy. I lived alone and I didn’t know what to do. I stayed indoors. At one point I got in my car and drove to a coffee shop only to pull over after a few minutes and call the Kaiser advice nurse line. They told me to call 911. I didn’t. I drove home and watched DVDs for the rest of the weekend. After seeing my primary care doctor I was advised to take meclizine. That seemed to do the trick.
  3. For the past five years I’ve experienced motion sickness from elevators. After more than one floor of motion I am messed up.

After my alarm went off I got in the shower, dizzy still. I held myself up with the walls. I leaned on the counter as I brushed my teeth. I wrapped myself in a towel and watched Brett do his morning push-ups.

I called in dizzy. My supervisor advised me to not tell people I was dizzy; I sounded silly, “Dizzy Lizzy.” He’s probably right.

I didn’t trust myself to drive.

It is now mid-afternoon and I am not as dizzy, but I have a headache.

I never know what is ‘normal’ and what is brain tumor-related. My world is forever connected to neurology.