This building looks at me

Radiation oncology is right across the street from where I live. If I were to ever need radiation this is the facility where I would receive treatment.

I remember when I didn't know what service was offered in that building and I secretly wished I had doctor visits there because they'd be so convenient.

Then, I remember having to actually go to a consult in the building to meet my potential radiation oncologist. I remember she said I would definitely lose hair in the spot on my head where the radiation was directed. At the time I didn't really care about losing hair because I actually like having no hair. I also joked about walking over to radiation with a wagon so Brett could pull me home.

Later, after my second brain surgery, I remember dreading the possibility that I would need radiation. After six months of knowing I had brain cancer I had enough time to digest everything, read up on the topic, and know what radiation would do to me (in the long and short run).

All I knew is that I did not want to have to go to that medical office across the street from my house. I didn't care how convenient it would be to get there.

Now it is weird being going back to "normal" life and working during treatment because I can feel the building staring at me whenever I come home. It is like the building knows that nothing is certain and the normality I've achieved could go away with just one bad scan.