My first: Cancer support group
I am going to do a data dump from my head. I have so many thoughts milling around that I can't find a place to begin.I've always appreciated the "little" things in life, but now more than ever I truly take joy in small moments. Flowers stretching toward a setting sun.A purring cat.A sail flapping in the wind.I have decided to paint my living room before I think about furniture. Furniture is nice, but pricey... and I don't have a lot of money hanging out for new chairs. But paint! What a beautiful thing.I went to a cancer support group today. It was my first. It sounds gross, but it was great to talk to other people who deal with this shit. They use phrases and terms I have never heard, such as "chemo brain," which is the constant clouded mental state you reside in while on chemo. It feels the same as when you wake up from an afternoon nap and you can't snap out of the fog. I know what the feels like! I feel it right now. Some of these survivors say they can't even type an email when they are on chemo. Can you believe that? I was the youngest in the group.With brain cancer I feel like I'm stuck between two worlds: the crappy world of cancer and the crappy world of brain tumors. Brain cancer seems so different than the other cancers. I wish I could just have a brain-ectomy--you know, have it removed.You like that? I just made it up.